They're Busy
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
“ May I speak to your parents? ”
“ They're busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The police. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They're busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The firemen. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They're busy. ”
“ So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing? ”
“ Looking for me. ”
他们很忙
电话铃响了，小男孩接了电话。
“请你父母听电话好吗？”
“他们很忙。”
“噢，那家里还有其他人吗？”
“还有警察。”
“我可以和他们说话吗？”
“他们很忙。”
“那还有其他人吗？”
“还有消防员。”
“我可以和他们说话吗？”
“他们也很忙。”
“请直接告诉我——你的父母、警察和消防员都在你家，但他们都很忙，他们到底在干什么？”
“在找我。”
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I Need Your Football
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
我要玩足球
乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？ ”
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An Anatomy Lesson
Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off[1] all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, “Johnny. This is where you come from[2] .”
Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to[3] him as “Lucky Johnny.”
“Why?” one asked.
Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, “Because I came this close to being a turd.”
一堂生理课
一天小约翰的妈妈决定给她的儿子上一堂生理课，于是她脱光所有的衣服指着私处说：“约翰，你是从这里生出来的。”
约翰第二天上学时一直微笑地坚持要所有的朋友把他当作“幸运的约翰”。
“为什么？”其中一位朋友问道。
约翰用手指比划着 一英尺 宽说：“因为我就差这么点就成了大便。”
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Visit
One day a boy was walking down the street when he saw a sea monster standing on the corner looking lost. The boy put a leash on the sea monster and took him to the police station.
“You should take him to the museum.” said the policeman .
The next day the policeman saw the boy in the town again with the monster on the leash.
“I thought I told you to take him to the museum.” said the policeman .
“I did,” said the boy, “and today I'm taking him to the cinema.”
参观
一天，一个男孩在街上走着时，见到一个海怪站在街角，看来是迷路了。男孩用皮带栓着海怪，带着他到了警察局。
“ 你得将他带到博物馆去。 ” 警察说。
第二天，警察在城里又见到小男孩和用皮带栓着的海怪。
“ 我想，我应该告诉过你把他带到博物馆去吧。 ” 警察说。
“ 我们去过了。 ” 男孩说： ” 今天我要带他去电影院。 ”
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Useless
A little boy came home from his first day at kindergarten[4] and said to his mother, “What's the use of going to school ? I can't read, I can't write, and the teacher won't let me talk.”
没用
小男孩第一天从幼儿园放学回家，对妈妈说： “ 去学校有什么用？我不会读书，不会写字，老师又不让我说话。 ”
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Switch off
A little monster was learning to play the violin, “ I'm good, aren't I?” he asked his big brother.
“You should be on the radio,” said his brother.
“You think I'm that good?”
“No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch[5] you off !”
关掉
一个小淘气在学拉小提琴。“我拉得不错，是吗？ ” 他问他哥哥。
“ 你应该去电台。 ” 他哥哥说。
“ 你认为我拉得有那么好吗？ ”
“ 不，我觉得你拉得很糟糕，但如果你是在电台，我就可以关掉收音机。 ”
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Whose Father Was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
谁的父亲更强壮
威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说： “ 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。 ”
比尔不屑一顾： “ 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。 ”
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Bet
“ I want you to help me stop my son gambling. ” an anxious[6] father said to his boy's principal. “ I don't know where he gets it from, but it's bet, bet, bet. ”
“ Leave it to me, ” said the principal.
A week later he phoned the boy's father. “ I think I've cured him,” he said.
“ How? ”
“ Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, ” I bet that's a false beard, “ How much? I said, and he said $ 5 ”
“ What happened ? ” asked the father.
“ Well he tugged my beard which is quite natural and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson! ”
“ No, it won't,” said the father. “He bet me $10 on Monday that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week! ”
赌
“ 我想你帮我制止我儿子赌博。 ” 一位焦急的父亲对儿子的校长说。 ” 我不知道他从哪儿学来的，总是赌 , 赌 , 赌。 ”“ 交给我吧！ ” 校长说。
一周后，他打电话给男孩的父亲。 “ 我想我已使他改邪归正。 ” 他说。
“ 怎么办到的？ ”
“ 噢，他看着我的胡子，然后说： ‘ 我打赌那是假胡子。 ' ‘ 赌多少钱？ ' 我问，他说 5 美元。 ”
“ 后来怎样？ ” 父亲问道。
“ 于是他拉扯了我的胡子后，知道那是货真价实的，我就要他给我 5 美元。我敢肯定我给了他一个教训。 ”
“ 不行，那没用。 ” 父亲说。 “ 星期一他和我赌了 10 美元，说周末他可以让你允许他拔你的胡子！ ”
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Getting Taller
“I think my Dad is getting taller,” said Stan to his friend.
“What makes you think that?”
“Well, lately I've noticed that his head is sticking through his hair.”
长高
“ 我认为我爸爸长高了。 ” 斯丹对他的朋友说。
“ 你这么想有什么根据？ ”
“ 噢，最近我注意到他的头顶正在穿过他的头发。 ”
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Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold[7] them!
金鱼
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
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[注释1] take off 脱掉（衣服）
[注释2] come from 出身于； 由…引起； 是…的结果； 是在…长大的
[注释3] refer to 提到， 谈到， 涉及
[注释4] kindergarten n. 幼儿园； adj. 幼儿园的， 初级的， 启蒙阶段的
[注释5] switch vt. ， / vi. （与 on ， off 连用）开关（电器等设备）
to switch the TV on 开电视
[注释6] anxious adj. 忧虑的； 焦急的， 担心的； 思念的； 不安的 (about ， for)
There is no reason to be anxious about the result. 不必为这结果而担心。
[注释7] blindfold vt. 蒙住…的眼睛， 遮住…的视线； adj. 蒙住眼睛的； 轻率的，
