White Clothes
Mrs. Robinson was a teacher in a school. She had boys and girls in her class. One day she said to the children, “People in some countries in Asia wear white at funerals, but people in America and Europe wear white clothes when they're happy.”
Then she asked a question: “What color does a woman wear in our country when she marries, Mary?”
“White, Miss,” Mary said, “because she is happy.”
“That's good, Mary,” Mrs. Robinson said.
But then one of the boys in the class put his hand up.
“Yes, Dick.” Mrs. Robinson said. “Do you want to ask something?”
“Yes, please, Miss,” Dick said. “Why do men wear black in our country when they marry?”
白色衣服
罗宾逊 太太是个学校的老师，在她班上有男孩和女孩。一天她对学生们说： “ 一些亚洲国家的人民在葬礼上才穿白色衣服，但在欧美国家人们在高兴时穿白色衣服。”
于是她问一个问题： “ 玛丽，在我们国家女子结婚时穿什么颜色的衣服？”
“白色，老师。”玛丽回答说， “ 因为她高兴。”
“回答得很好，玛丽。”老师说道。
但接着班上有位男生举起手。
“那么，迪克。” 罗宾逊 太太说， “ 你是不是想问什么问题？”
“是的，老师，” 迪克说， “ 为什么在我们国家男人结婚穿黑色衣服 ? ”
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Where is Jesus Today
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?” Steven raised his hand and said, “He's in heaven.” Mary was called on and answered, “He's in my heart.” Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted[1] out, “I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!” The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, “Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs[2] on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!”
今天耶稣在哪里
一个学前班的星期日 , 学校老师担心起他的学生可能对耶稣基督概念上有点迷糊，因为圣诞节是耶稣的出生日。他想确定学生们是否明白耶稣是在很多年以前出生的，然后成长等等。所以老师问学生，“今天耶稣在哪里？”史蒂芬举手说：“他在天堂。”玛丽被点名回答说：“他在我心里。”这时小约翰尼热切地摇着小手，脱口而出，“我知道！我知道！他在我家卫生间！！！”顿时，整个教室一片寂静，孩子都把目光投 向 老师，看老师的反应。老师着实被愣住了，终于，老师清醒了过来，问小约翰尼他是怎么知道的。小约翰尼说：“每天早上，我爸爸起床后，就砰砰地敲卫生间的门，大叫：‘耶稣基督，你还在里面吗！'”
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I'll Have as Many of Those as I Want
A little boy and girl were playing doctor. The little boy boldly pulled off his shirt and pointed to his nipples.
“I've got two of these,” he said. “How about you?” The little girl opened her blouse and showed him her nipples. So the boy pointed to his belly button[3]. The little girl looked down showed him her belly button. So the little boy dropped his drawers and pointed to his penis. The little girl raised her skirt and pulled her underwear to the side, but search as she might she couldn't find that particular organ. The little boy taunted her till she ran home to her mommy. She returned 15 minutes later with a big grin[4] on her face.
“My mommy told me that when I am 20years old, I'll have as many of those as I want!”
我想要多少就有多少
一个小男孩和一个小女孩正在玩扮医生。小男孩大胆地扯下上衣，露出乳头。
“我有两个这个。”他说： “ 你呢？”小女孩也掀开衣服给他看她的。接着，小男孩又指他的肚脐眼，小女孩也给他看她的肚脐眼。于是小男孩又脱下内裤露出小鸡鸡。小女孩掀开裙子，褪掉内裤，但怎么也找不到这个特殊器官。小男孩嘲笑她，小女孩就跑回家找妈妈。 15 分钟后，小女孩子带着深深的笑意回来了。
“我妈妈说当我 20 岁的时候，我想要多少就有多少 ! ”
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Broke off
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
“Can I touch it?”
“No way ， you already broke yours off!”
弄断
有一个小男孩和一个小女孩在一个浴缸里洗澡。突然，小女孩盯着男孩的下身看。
“我可以摸摸吗？”
“不行，你已经把你自己的弄断了。”
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Job
“You never get anything right,” complained the teacher. “What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?”
“Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.”
职业
“ 你从来没有做对过什么， ” 老师说， “ 你想离开学校后干什么工作？ ”
“ 噢，我想去电视台做气象女郎。 ”
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Use
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs[5] a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks, “ Oh, these must be for your mom, huh? ”
The nine-year-old replies, “ Nope, not for my mom. ” Without thinking, the cashier responded, “ Well, they must be for your sister then? ” The nine-year-old responded, “ Nope, not for my sister either. ”
The cashier had now become curious. “ Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for? ”
The nine-year old says, “ They're for my four-year-old little brother. ” The cashier is surprised: “ Your four- year-oldbrother? ”
The nine-year-old explains: “ Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike — and my little brother can't do either of those things. ”
用途
两个小男孩走进杂货店。一个 9 岁，一个 4 岁。 9 岁的男孩从货架上拿起一盒卫生巾，递给收银台的收银小姐。收银小姐问： “ 噢，这一定是给你妈妈买的，是吗？”
9 岁男孩说： “ 不，不是给我妈妈的。”收银小姐未加思考就说： “ 那一定是给你姐姐的？” 9 岁男孩回答道： “ 不是，也不是给我姐姐的。”
收银小姐变得有些好奇， “ 噢，即不是给妈妈的又不是给姐姐的——那是给谁的？”
9 岁男孩说： “ 是给我 4 岁的弟弟的。”收银小姐很吃惊： “ 给你 4 岁的弟弟的？”
9 岁男孩解释道： “ 是的，电视上说只要戴上它，你就可以游泳，骑自行车——这些我弟弟一样都不会。”
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Can Little Girls Have Babies
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “ Mommy, can little girls have babies? ”
“ No, ” said his mom, “ Of course not. ”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “ It's okay, we can play that game again! ”
小女孩会有孩子吗
小约翰尼跑进屋里，问： “ 妈妈，小女孩会有孩子吗？”
“不，”他妈妈说： “ 当然不会。”
然后小约翰尼就跑出屋外，他妈妈听到他对朋友们大声喊道： “ 没事的，我们可以再玩那个游戏了！”
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Sissy
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can't, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in daddy's room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his little voice. “The big sissy.”
胆小鬼
在一个电闪雷鸣的夏日夜晚，母亲把儿子抱上了床。她正准备关灯，儿子颤着声问： “ 妈妈，今晚你能跟我一起睡吗？
母亲笑着抱了抱儿子，说： “ 我不能，亲爱的，我得到爸爸房间去睡。”
一阵长时间的沉默过后，小男孩小声嘀咕道： “ 胆小鬼。”
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Method
A family was having dinner and the little boy said, “ Dad, I don't like the holes in the cheese! ”“ Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate. ”
方法
一家人正在用晚餐，小男孩说：“爸爸，我不喜欢奶酪上的洞洞！”“孩子，那就吃掉奶酪，把洞洞放到碟子边上。”
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Pet Name
Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots[6] a deer. Being a city kid he's never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, “What's that, Miss?”
Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, “That's what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.”
Tommy thinks for a moment and then says, “I'm not stupid Miss, I know that ain't[7] a fucking pig!”
爱称
小汤姆在学校组织的游动物园时看见一只鹿。作为一名城里孩子他从未看过鹿，于是他问老师： “ 老师，这是什么？”
老师故意想和他玩个文字游戏，她对小汤姆说： “ 汤姆，你爸爸平时叫你妈妈什么，那就是什么。”
汤姆想了一会儿说： “ 老师，我才没这么笨，我知道那不是一头蠢猪。”
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[注释1] blurt vt. 未加思索地冲口说出， 突然说出，失口说出 (out)
Peter blurted out the news before he considered the consequence.
彼得未考虑后果就把消息泄露了。
[注释2] bang v. 发巨响， 重击 bang up 撞坏， 撞伤
[注释3] belly button 肚脐
[注释4] grin v. 露齿而笑； n. 露齿笑， 裂口笑
on the (broad) grin 笑嘻嘻， 咧着嘴笑
[注释5] grab vt. 攫 [ 抓 ] 取，，抢夺，， 霸占
She grabbed the seat near the fire before I could. 她赶在我的前面抢占了靠近火的座位。
[注释6] spot vt. 认出， 发现； v. 沾污， 弄脏， 侦察； n. 斑点， 污点， 地点， 场所， 现场
[注释7] ain't= am not ， is not ， are not
