Surprising
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.
“Johnny, how many times have I told you,” said his mother, “it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.”
“OK,” said Johnny, “why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard[1] old witch ?”
奇怪
小强尼和他的母亲在坐火车。强尼斜过身去，开始对着他妈妈的耳朵低语。
“ 强尼，我说过你多少次了， ” 妈妈说， “ 咬耳朵是没有礼貌的。如果你想说什么话就大声说出来。 ”
“ 好吧， ” 强尼说，“为什么对面那位女士看起来像一个丑陋的、憔悴的老巫婆？ ”
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Play Game
“ Please, Miss! ” said a little girl at kindergarten. “ We're going to play elephants and circuses[2], do you want to join in ? ”
“ I'd love to, ” said the teacher. ” What do you want me to do ? ”
“ You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts ! ”
做游戏
“ 老师， ” 幼儿园的小女孩说，“我们将玩大象和马戏团的游戏，你愿意加入我们吗？ ”
“ 当然愿意。 ” 老师说，“你们想要我干什么？ ”
“ 你可以扮那位喂我们花生的小姐！ ”
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Reason
At the end of the school year, I asked my first-year Spanish students to write what they liked and disliked about the class. This, I told them, would help me do a better job next year. One student wrote : “The reason I liked Spanish was that I learned a new language. The reason I didn't like Spanish was that I didn't understand it.”
原因
在一个学期末，我让我的一年级西班牙语学生写下他们喜欢和不喜欢这门课程的原因。我告诉他们写这些可以帮助我改进下学期的教学。一个学生写道：”我喜欢西班牙语课是因为我在学一种新的语言；我不喜欢它是因为我不懂它。”
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Remind
Our teenage son, Marc, never misses an opportunity to remind us that he needs his own car. One morning, as I drove him to school, it was apparent that we would be late. I asked him to write a note to his teacher, which I would sign when we arrived.
At school, he handed me a pen and the note, which read “Marc is late this morning due to car trouble, and the trouble is Marc doesn't have his own car, and his mother drives too slow.”
提醒
我们十岁的儿子迈克总是不失时机地提醒我们他需要自己的车。一天早晨，当我开车送他去上学时，我们明显就要迟到了。我让他写一张字条给老师，到学校时我再签字。
来到学校，他递给我一支钢笔和字条，上面写着“迈克今天早晨迟到是因为汽车的缘故，引起这个麻烦是因为迈克没有自己的汽车而他妈妈又开车太慢。”
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Father and Mother
John was playing with a ball in the street. He kicked it too hard and it broke the window of Mrs Green's house. The ball fell inside. Mrs Green came to the window with the ball and shouted at John. So John ran away but he still wanted his ball back. A few minutes later John returned and knocked at the door. When Mrs Green answered it, he said, “My father's going to come and fix your window very soon.”
After a few minutes a man came to the door with tools in his hand, so Mrs Green let John take his ball away. When the man finished fixing the window, he said to Mrs Green, “That will cost your exactly ten dollars.”
“But aren't you the father of that young boy?” Mrs Green asked, looking very surprised. The man was equally surprised and he answered, “No. Aren't you his mother?”
父亲和母亲
约翰正在街上玩球，他一下把球踢得太重以至球打破了格 林 太太家的窗户。球掉进屋里。格 林 太太拿着球来到窗前对约翰大吼，约翰马上溜了，但他还想拿回他的球，几分钟后他又返回来敲门。当格 林 太太开门时，他说：”我父亲马上来修你的窗户。”
几分钟后一位男士带着工具来到门前，格 林 太太把球还给了约翰。当窗户修好时，他对格 林 太太说： “ 修理费 10 美元。”
“难道你不是那个男孩的父亲吗？”格 林 太太非常惊讶地问道。那位男士也十分吃惊，他回答说： “ 不是 . 那你不是他的母亲吗？”
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Question
Polly went to school when she was six years old. She liked her first day very much. Her teacher, Miss Yates, was very nice, and the other children in her class were nice, too. But at the end of the second day, when the other children left the classroom, Polly stayed behind and waited.
Miss Yates had some work to do and did not see Polly at first, but then she looked up and saw her. “Why didn't you go with the others, Polly?” she asked kindly. “Did you want to ask me a question?”
“Yes, Miss Yates.” Polly said.
“What is it?” Miss Yates asked.
“What did I do in school today?” Polly said.
Miss Yates laughed. “What did YOU do in school today?” she said. “Why did you ask me that, Polly?”
“Because I'm going to go home now,” Polly answered, “and my mother's going to ask me.”
问题
波莉六岁上学了。上学第一天她十分开心。她的老 师夏芝 小姐待她十分好，班上其他同学也很好。但在第二天放学时，其它同学都离开了教室，只有波莉留在教室里等待。
刚开始 夏芝 小姐正在忙其它的事没有注意到波莉，当她抬头时她看见波莉 . “为什么你不和其它同学一块走呢？”她亲切地问道， “你有问题要问我吗？”
“是的， 夏芝 小姐。”波莉说。
“什么问题？” 夏芝 小姐问道。
“我今天在学校干什么？”波莉问道。
夏芝大笑道：“你今天在学校干什么？”她说。 “为什么你问我这个问题，波莉？”
“因为我现在要回家，”波莉回答说，“我妈妈会问我这个。”
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Who Did It
Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize[3] that God is in everyone, asks, “ Where is God? ” The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, “ Where is God? ” The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy's face and asks again, “ Where is God? ” The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs[4] his older brother and says to him, “ We are in BIG trouble! ” His brother replies, “ We haven't done anything! ” The younger brother replies, “ God's missing, and they think we did it! ”
谁干的
两个兄弟总是给邻里制造麻烦。人们就开始向孩子的父母抱怨。于是孩子的父母就决定请牧师跟孩子们谈话。牧师要求和孩子个别谈话，并要求先见见小的。小男孩走进屋里，在一张大桌旁坐了下来。牧师看着男孩，指向他，试图向他强调上帝存在于任何人身上，就问道：“上帝在哪？”男孩环顾四周，背对牧师一言不发。牧师又一次指向男孩，大声问道：“上帝在哪？”男孩还是一言不发。牧师绕着桌子来回走动，指着男孩的脸，又一次问道：“上帝在哪？”男孩从椅子上跳了起来，冲出门外。男孩来到哥哥的房间，一把抓住哥哥说：“我们有大麻烦了！”他哥哥说：“我们什么也没做！”小弟弟说：“上帝不见了，他们以为是我们干的！”
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Putting Something in It
Little Emily was complaining[5] to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.” The next day, the pastor[6] was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”
放点东西进去
小艾米莉对母亲诉苦说她胃痛。母亲答道：“那是因为胃是空的，也许你应该试着放点东西进去。”第二天，牧师到艾米莉家吃午餐。期间，牧师提到他的头很痛，艾米莉立即答道：“那是因为它里面太空了，也许你应该试着放点东西进去。”
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Have a Talk
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”
So Johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
first, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse.
So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
ok, now take off[7]my skirt...
And he takes off her skirt
now take off my bra.
Which he does.
and now, Johnny, please take off my panties.
And when Johnny finishes removing those, she says,
“Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!”
谈话
小约翰从学校回来带了一 张 老师的条子，上面写着： “ 约翰大概很难分清男孩和女孩的不同之处，请妈妈坐下来好好跟约翰谈谈这个问题。”
于是妈妈平静把约翰带到楼上她的卧室，然后把门关上。
“ 第一步，约翰，我想你脱掉我的上衣。”
于是他解开她的扣子把她的上衣脱了，
“ 好，现在脱掉我的裙子。 ”
约翰又脱去她的裙子。
“ 现在脱掉我的乳罩。 ”
约翰照做。
“ 那么现在，约翰，请脱掉我的内裤。 ”
当约翰全部完成后，她说： “ 约翰，千万不要穿我的这些衣服去学校。”
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One Ring for Each Year
“Now remember, girls,” said the science teacher[8]. “You can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year.”
Alice went home from school and found a chocolate roll on the table. “I'm not eating that, mum,” she said. “It's five years old.”
一圈是一年
“ 现在记住，姑娘们， ” 科学课老师说，“你可以通过计算横切面的圆圈数来得知树的年龄。一圈是一年。 ”
爱丽丝从学校回到家，看到餐桌上的巧克力卷：“我不想吃那个，妈妈 , ”她说，“它有 5 岁了。 ”
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[注释1] haggard adj. 憔悴的， 野性的， 形容枯槁的
[注释2] circus n. 马戏团， 杂技团， 马戏场， 杂技场
[注释3] emphasize vt. 强调 , 着重 v. 强调
[注释4] grab v. 抢夺 , 攫取 , 夺取
[注释5] complain adj. 诉苦的 , 抱怨的
[注释6] pastor n. 牧师
[注释7] take off 脱掉（衣服）
Take off your clothes ； they're very wet. 脱掉你的衣服，衣服湿透了。
[注释8] science teacher 理科教员 special teacher 专科教师
