Who Shot Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to teacher 's classroom.
“ Mr. Smith, ” said the teacher, “ I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it! ”
“ Well, teacher, ” said Smith, “ if my kid said he didn't do it — he didn't do it! ” Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, “ Tell me, son, did you do it? ”
谁枪杀了阿拉伯罕•林肯
史密斯 先生和他的儿子瑞克被请进老师办公室。
“ 史密斯 先生，”老师说，“我问瑞克‘谁枪杀了阿拉伯罕•林肯？'他说不是他干的！”
“嗯，老师，” 史密斯说，“如果我的孩子说不是他干的，——那就不是他干的！”父亲与儿子离开学校，在回家的路上，史密斯问儿子：“告诉我，儿子，是你干的吗？”
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Change
A lady lost her handbag during a day of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty singles.” The boy quickly replied, “That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have change for a reward.”
零钱
一位小姐在逛商场时丢了手袋，正好有一个诚实的小男孩拾到并交还给她。她检查了一钱包说：“真奇怪，我的包里原来有一张二十美元钞票在里面，怎么现在变成了二十张零钱？”小男孩马上回答说：“没错，小姐。上次我捡到一个小姐的包，她当时没有零钱谢我。”
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Autograph
“ Dad, Can you write in the dark? ”
“ I think so. What is it you want me to write? ”
“ Your name on this report card. ”
签名
“爸爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗？”
“我想可以。你想让我写什么？”
“在这张成绩单上签名。”
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Have a Wife
At Sunday School they were doing the Creation story and Johnny heard how Eve was created from Adam's side.
Later that week Johnny's mother noticed him lying down as though he was ill and she asked:
What's the matter with you?
I have a pain in the side., I think I'm going to have a wife ?
有一个妻子
约翰在星期日学校听到夏娃是由亚当的肋骨变成的。
不久约翰的妈妈注意到他躺着好像生病了，妈妈问道：
“你怎么了？”
“我觉得这边肋骨有点痛，我想我马上就会有一个妻子了。”
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Free Haircut
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
“ I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you.”
“That wasn't my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!”
免费理发
一名男子带着一个小男孩走进理发店。当这位男子享受完所有的服务 — 刮脸、洗发、修指甲、理发等等后，他把孩子放在椅子上说：“我去买一条游行用的绿色领带，几分钟就回来。 ”
那孩子都剪好发了那名男子还没回来，理发师说：“看来你爸爸完全把你给忘了。 ”“ 那不是我爸爸，他是个过路的人，他牵着我的手说： ‘ 走，我们去免费理发。 '”
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Go to School
Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of [1]propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet and so on. Came the first day, he eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.
Next morning when she woke him up, he asked “What for ?” She told him it was time to get ready for school.
“What, again ?” he asked.
上学
汤姆到了上学年龄，他妈妈给他做了大量思想工作让他对上学感兴趣。她给儿子买了许多新衣服，告诉他将遇到许多新朋友等等。上学第一天，他急切地去学校，回到家中兴高采烈向妈妈汇报学校的情况。
第二天早晨当她叫醒儿子的时候，他问：“干什么，妈妈？”她告诉儿子该起床上学了。
“什么，还要去？”儿子问道。
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Happy Birthday to You
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. Thee church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the [2]aisle , carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you...”
祝你生日快乐
一位母亲带她 3 岁的女儿第一次去教堂。当教堂的灯变暗，唱诗班手持蜡烛走下走廊。周围一片安静，突然那个小女孩大声唱道： ” 祝你生日快乐。祝你生日快乐……”
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Adam's Suit
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible. With [3]fascination , he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages. “ Momma, look what I found, ” the boy called out. “ What have you got there, dear? ” his mother asked. With [4]astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, “ I think it's Adam's suit!!!!! ”
亚当的衣服
一个小男孩打开家里的一本旧圣经。他饶有兴趣地翻看着。然后有东西从圣经里掉了出来，他捡起来，凑近一看，是一片被书页压扁的老树叶。“妈妈，看看我发现的，”男孩叫道。“你从哪弄来的，宝贝？”他母亲问道。小男孩掩饰不住兴奋之情，说道：“我想这是亚当的衣服。”
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Stupid
A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor.
“Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?” asked the barber.
“Don't be so stupid, I'm only three!!” said the girl!
傻
一个小女孩被父亲带在理发店时正在吃糖果，忽然糖果从她手上滑到地上的一堆头发里。
“噢，亲爱的，你的糖上粘着头发了？”理发师问。
“别傻了，我才 3 岁。 ” 女孩说。
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Nearly
Father: How did you exams go ?
Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject
Father: What do you mean, nearly 100 ?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers !
差不多
爸爸：你考试考得怎么样？
儿子：每门课差不多 100 分。
爸爸：你说的差不多 100 分是什么意思？
儿子：题目对我来说没问题，就是答案麻烦。
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[注释1] propaganda n. 宣传
[注释2] aisle n. 走廊， 过道
[注释3] fascination n. 魔力 , 入迷 , 魅力 , 迷恋 , 强烈爱好
[注释4] astonishment n. 惊讶
